Joy Das embarked on a journey of self-acceptance, grappling with the complexities of identity in a world that often felt too small for his spirit. Despite facing rejection and isolation, he persevered, finding solace and success within the transgender community. His story is one of resilience, triumph, and advocacy, inspiring others to embrace their true selves against all odds. Read.
Growing up in a small town in West Bengal, I always felt different from what everyone expected of me, though it took years for me to fully understand why. My journey to self-discovery has been anything but easy, marked by moments of pain, resilience, and, ultimately, triumph.
I am Joy Das, and this is my story.
When I was a child, I was often confused by the way society expected me to be. I remember looking in the mirror, feeling disconnected from the reflection staring back at me. My parents, strict and traditional, had little patience for my questions about identity. They expected me to conform, to fit neatly into the roles laid out for me. But my heart knew otherwise.
I tried to fit in at school, but my interest in typically “masculine” things set me apart from the girls. I loved dressing up and felt more comfortable in clothes society deemed appropriate for boys. This also led to bullying and isolation, making my school years tough. Despite the challenges faced, I remained focused on my education, seeing it as my ticket to independence.
I was in my teens when I first started acknowledging that I didn’t conform to traditional gender roles. I developed feelings for a girl, and the confusion I felt was overwhelming. My family, already suspicious of my behavior, became stricter. But their attempts to suppress who I was only strengthened my resolve. I knew I had to stand on my own feet and fight for my true identity.
After passing 10th, I faced more internal and external battles. My body’s changes during puberty felt wrong to me. I started taking progestogen tablets to stop my periods, which helped me cope with the dysphoria I felt. My interest in sports, particularly lawn tennis, provided an escape, a way to channel my energy and distract myself from the inner turmoil.
My family’s rejection reached a breaking point after I passed 12th. My parents decided to get me married to some man I didn’t know. I resisted with all my might. The emotional and physical torture I endured gradually pushed me to leave home. I moved to Bengaluru with help from one of my aunts. This city promised anonymity and opportunities. I continued my studies and joined a transgender community, finding a sense of belonging I had never felt before.
I completed my MBA in Hospitality Management, and also took courses in agricultural practices and computer studies. Given my eclectic educational background, I have also worked in multiple sectors.
In 2020, after a decade away from home, I returned to Kolkata. This was a turning point in my life as I faced my family again. They still couldn’t accept me. My extended family ostracized me as well. I carried on regardless as I knew I had to be strong for myself. It was around this time that I joined a government project in the agricultural sector. This was my last job before Flipkart.
In my previous workplaces, I wasn’t fully welcomed. In certain companies, I was belittled and treated poorly. Today, as a Team Leader at Flipkart, I look back with pride at how far I’ve come. While others hesitate to give a supervising role to someone from my community, Flipkart treats everyone equally. I truly feel proud about this. Everyone supports me here.
Throughout this journey, I’ve faced numerous challenges. My mother passed away last year, and my father is in the last stages of cancer. Despite these personal losses, I’ve remained steadfast in my commitment to be my true self. The strength I draw from within, and the support of my chosen family in the transgender community, has been my anchor.
Last year, I took a significant step in my journey. In August 2023, I underwent bottom surgery in Delhi. This surgery was a defining moment in my transition, bringing my physical appearance closer to my true self. I plan to undergo top surgery this December.
My life is not just about overcoming challenges, but also about celebrating who I am and the community I am part of. We celebrate Pride month. We gather together on Transgender Visibility Day, having fun and supporting each other. It’s not just trans men but also other LGBTQIA+ individuals from all walks of life who come together. We share our joys, our struggles, and our celebrations.
In Kolkata, during Durga Puja, we have a special celebration organized by an LGBTQIA+ advocate, dedicated exclusively to the transgender community. It’s a time when cinema artists and other prominent figures join us in the festivities. We come together to do the puja, feeling a strong sense of community and acceptance.
I am also an artist. I actually inherited this hobby from my mother. I used to have my artworks exhibited at school.
I continue to advocate for transgender rights, hoping that my story can inspire others to live authentically, despite the obstacles they might face.
